Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
