Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize