I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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