I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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