Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
