Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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