i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
