once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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