i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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