TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
