Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
