do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Are we still banned from the library?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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