Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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