its not stalking. its research.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
