I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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