I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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