I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
