If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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