The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
