Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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