So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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