It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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