I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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