"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Watching her eat just hurts me
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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