it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
