How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize