Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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