I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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