your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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