We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He shit in the fireplace
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
