I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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