I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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