he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
