You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
