worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
