I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
where are my eyebrows?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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