this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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