i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
