You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is my gift to your gina
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize