why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
