i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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