yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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