Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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