i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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