dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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