tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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