dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
