I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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