happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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