Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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