I love black thongs
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
