Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
