I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
