It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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