I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
