Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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