I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize