her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
