don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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