Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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