just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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