I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
