I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
