I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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