do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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