she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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