You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
